I am a self-confessed sportshead. Its the the only thing I watch regularly on tv. Its the only part of the newspaper I have ever read. Here are two of the more tragic conversations that have happened to me in recent times.

with a little boy........

how long is a tennis match? how many minutes?

a tennis match isnt played in minutes!

oh. ok. how many hours then?

(groaaaan)

with warden at 3.00 pm

please leave the common room, tv isnt allowed now.

ma'am we are watching a match.

ok, how much is left? how many overs?

ma'am its tennis.

ok. how many balls?  

(hunh?? its not cricket. we measure it differently. aaaaah)