-In the dream I didn't understand what you said so you called me stupid.

-It wasn't a dream.

-No, what about the kite flying?

-I called you stupid. That seems real enough.

-Hey I didn't understand what you said because you were making up words.

-I know plenty of words which are real but you wouldn't understand.

-NO. My vocabulary is awesome.

-I don't make up words.

-It was MY dream. You made up words.

-It was still me in the dream and I don't make up words.

-And you called me stupid in it! My dream. Don't ever appear in my dreams again.

-Hey! It was YOUR dream

-It was still YOU

No I'm not colorblind. Just messing around with the template designer.

opposable thumbs and such biological marvels

In the complicated world of gadgets humans are developing new skills. Yes they are. I can talk and text simultaneously. I swear I can............ if you count saying yes at intervals as conversation.

A few years ago I often found myself to be one party of a 'conference' call. While Shaggy and me talked nineteen to the dozen, our third friend usually never said anything. In fact sometimes, fifteen minutes into the conversation, shaggy would inform me that he was also on the line because I would assumed it was just a normal phone call. He never knew when to start talking he said.

My family has almost perfected the art of having a three way conversation on the phone. They call me. Then they go on talking. Every time I open my mouth to say hi or some such attention-seeking thing they say shutup.

For example-

Me: Hi

Bro: Wait

Ma: Where does this wire go?

Bro: This slot in the camera has a picture of the wire Ma. Obviously...

Me: Hi

Bro: Yeah

Ma: Where does the other end go?

Bro: BOTH ENDS DONT GO IN THE CAMERA IDIOT. ONE HAS TO PLUG INTO THE COMPUTER

Ma: Oh

Me: Uhh

Ma: Where does the other end go?

Bro: Same slot where the pendrive goes.

Me: uhh

Bro: YOU. talk to her.

Me: Why?

Bro: Then I dont have to talk to her.

Ma: Hi baby

Me: Hi

Ma: I plugged it in, nothing happened.

Me: Did you turn it on?

Ma: Oh. Ok. Bye.

click.

I will have children with two thumbs on each hand. They will text. Never call.

A month after I left home my parents bought a large screen tv.

This year I saw the Indian cricket team bring home the World Cup sitting in the room amidst more than a hundred shrieking ladies who scream for amir khan. rahul gandhi, advertisements and dot balls among other things.

Last year I saw three quarters of a crappy movie waiting for a senior to finally go to bed at 2 am so that I could watch the last few minutes of a champions league quarter final.

I was thrown out of the common room on porn night for laughing too loudly because the porn was soft. Really really soft. (how is this porn? u cant even see **** hahaha............. please leave)

I was asked how many overs of a tennis match were left.

ENOUGH i say. I'm going home now. Somebody warn the neighbours.