Grandchildren

Yesterday, at the mall, mom demanded grandchildren. For a second I was sure I was going to fall down and hit my head on the floor, forget the moment and let it go. Then I didn't fall. Maybe I was too concerned about not letting the cheesecakes get ruined.

So I put forth my feeble defence. "Mom, I'm 21".

"I don't care. My friend from school had a grandkid last year, she keeps sending me pictures."

I skim through possible replies/plans of action in my head. Mom, but I'm 21/ It's not a competition/burst into tears/run away as fast as I can, with the cheesecake.

While I'm thinking about which door is closest and planning the best escape route she adds,"The only thing you are interested in is food. I have to bribe you with cheesecake to make you come to the mall. I could take my grandchildren shopping."

At this point I actually felt a pang of pity for the hypothetical grandchildren.

Then astonished at my own brain's uselessness, I come up with the reply "But I just got into university."

"Yeah but I have to have grandchildren so they can inherit my jewellery. You aren't interested in jewellery. I looked for abandoned children in the bushes whenever I went for evening walks but never found any."

(She's been out for two evening walks in the last two years.)

AND THEN. Then the ridiculousness of the whole conversation hit me. I finally come up with the correct reply. "Let's go home. You can ask bro if he is willing to go get you some grandchildren."

Clutching cheesecake, we make our way back in happy silence.