why the science reporter intern felt slightly sick today

she found THIS link

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2011/10/pictures/111027-spooky-new-species-halloween-animals/

1st day of internship

Last Night.

3 am- I wake up because I'm thirsty. While I'm lying there waiting to see if I can persuade my body that I'm not thirsty my 13 year old cousin brother wakes up. Immensely happy to see that I'm awake he starts telling me how he slept till noon and therefore had no need for any more sleep. Feeling slightly more awake than I would have liked to I got up, drank some water and went back to sleep.

4 am- I wake up again to see my brother fiddling with the laptop. Criminally awake for that hour, he tells me he'd forgotten to switch it off before we went to bed and was just doing so. I curtly ask him to go back to sleep. He asks me, in turn, when I will wake up. After 6, I say. But when? Before 6.30.

5 am- Another irritating mosquito wakes me up. He's sitting there. Nirvana-like calm. He asks me if I want to take a bath in the morning and obligingly switches on the geyser. He tells me its morning and to prove his point dramatically pulls open the curtains to be met with gloomy darkness. I fall asleep wondering what my editor will think if I fall asleep at my desk on the first day of my internship.

6 am- He wakes me up. I am fighting with the urge to hit my brother and he asks me if I want to go to the park.

7.10 am- My uncle is roaring at us to wake up. I jump out of bed to see my brother, fast asleep, refusing to wake up even when I shook him.

7.45 am- We make a run for school and office, breakfast clutched in hand, hair uncombed, baths skipped.

Shampoo

Went through old posts to see if I ever posted this before. Don't seem to have.

Second year of college, during our college fest. The college sports ground is transformed into a carnival of sorts. Live bands, food stalls. And one stall from the famous barbershop X. (this isn't even some protection of privacy, I have forgotten the name. But they're the one who give you 400 rupee haircuts)

So X has a promotional offer. Haircuts for a hundred bucks. Quick calculation in head: getting hair cut in front of half the campus vs spending four times the money on a haircut plus rickshaw fare. For any hostel resident the answer is obvious.

So I plonk down in the chair and untie my braided hair. "I live in the hostel. I plan to not shampoo all winter, cut off ALL MY HAIR please. Thanks." The man gulps. The fest was in december I think, which left a good two months of winter to go.

Now when I said the answer was obvious to any hostel resident, what I meant was to ALL hostel residents. So within an hour of me getting that haircut, Dev showed up. She has waist length hair.... which she is too lazy too comb. So the man had a terrible time even getting to the haircut part. "I live in the hostel...shortage of water.... mysterious disappearance of combs from my room."

Then Ishrat turns up. She too has waistlength hair. Curly too. He asks her what shampoo she uses. She looks at him. "See I live in a hostel. So I just ask my friends for shampoo and use whatever they lend me."

Then the Don turns up. "I bought a giant bottle of shampoo for just eighty rupees. Such a bargain!!"

From the next year the barbershop was conspicuous in its absence. And sorely missed by a group of six people who still shared that bargain shampoo.

The new google blogger interface seems confusing. But maybe it's just that I haven't blogged in a while and thus have managed to fall hopelessly behind the times.

Blogger in the age of accelerated technology. (superhero pose)

My mom took me shopping yesterday. Correction: My mom went shopping yesterday while I went on coolie duty. Now the the thing is, my mom is deaf. And i'm not even being mean. She wont wear her hearing aids. Not my fault. So we're in a store and the man at the counter is making the bill. And he goes "Ma'am what name should I make the bill out to?" and she's just standing there with a smiley face. So I poked her. And she jumped up and starting shouting. "Block X X house number 0 0 0". Our Address. Which is obviously the first thing that comes to your mind when you're a deaf person who's been poked. YOUR ADDRESS.

(more added later)

Then the other day, my Dad's student came over. Dad wasn't home so Mom asks him to sit down and then asks him,"So what did you do today?"

"Embroidery."

"Oh, what an interesting hobby."

He gives her the confused look and conversation subsides.

On later investigation it turns out that what he had said was "Laundry".

me: I'd catch a grenade for you-oooooooo

serve up my head on a plate for you-OOOOOOO

bro (giving me worried looks out of the corner of his eye): you know those aren't the real words right?

me: dude! these are the words. it's a creepy love song

bro: nooo. the words are 'put my hand on a blade for you'. considerably less creepy/violent. (looks very worried)

Been at home for almost two months now. Gap year is progressing great so far. (I think) Extended-conservative-Indian family is not exactly appreciative/understanding/comprehending-motives (if any). I probably haven't helped because I have spread around ten different versions of my "plan". I just make one up and say it with a lot of unconvincing looking eyebrow wiggling when anyone asks me. So people comparing notes either conclude that I don't have a plan or that they know different peopled called me. Probably the first, you know?

Ah well, short term aim is something I have today atleast- REMEMBER to go to driving class.

'received and accepted'

The three most beautiful words in the english language.

Don't even try to convince me otherwise.

You article has been received and accepted. :D

see? happy feeling induced automatically

The unusual incident of the mom at the midnight

Just when I'm drifting off to sleep after being informed by my brother that many of his friends think that my idea of taking a break from education is weird but he thinks that it is completely normal and I politely told him that if he dances like robo-dork at his fresher's welcome party he will be labelled weird in college mom runs into the room. (insert many commas later)

1. bro started college yesterday and its fun to mess with his head. although the way he dances is really strange.

2. mom doesnt run so much as walk slightly faster

3. i am taking a gap year on grounds of i'm so confused and also i didnt really apply anywhere and my parents didnt notice till all the deadlines were gone.

So mom goes "WAKE UP. I have slashed my finger from end to end and if you dont get up and dress the wound i will have a nervous breakdown."

I get up. It's not a deep cut. Just long. So i put some antiseptic and then two bandaids.

"Go to sleep. It's almost midnight."

My mom looks at me. Her face has that dissatisfied look.

"What?"

"It doesn't look dramatic enough."

WHAT?

"It looks so tiny. Put a bandage not a bandaid."

"GO TO SLEEEEP. I'll put a bandage and make a bow tomorrow."

Big smile. Satisfied at the thought of her bow she goes to bed.